Tuesday, October 20, 2009

From the Bookshelf: Men are from Mars

A friend of mine recommended I read this book, and lo and behold, I found it on the coffee table that very day. I like to think that I'm open to self help books and whatnot. But I know better. I learned during yoga teacher training--while reading books like Ask and It Is Given and You Can Heal Your Life--that I'm quite a skeptic. In yoga, skepticism is just another word for resistance, which keeps us from reaching our true potential.

With that background, Men Are from Mars has been a fascinating read. It's simultaneously freeing and incredibly irritating to think that in order to understand each other we must first accept that we don't understand each other. I suppose you can use that premise of understanding anywhere, but I've always found it particularly frustrating with male / female interactions. I've often found myself asking, "why can't we just communicate about these differences?"

Apparently, we humans make a lot of assumptions. Martians understand Martian, Venusians understand Venusian. We expect to communicate in our local dialect with our mate, but they use and understand their language differently. Interpersonal communication is forever complicated by the fact that when a woman says a phrase and when a man says that same phrase, the two could mean very different things. What fun!?!

I've always been an advocate for a high level of interpersonal communication with a significant other. For women, this heighten communication makes for a heightened feeling of intimacy; according to Grey, this intimacy makes men question their personal abilities and power. We communicate differently; we love differently. Now, I find myself wondering, how do you support someone if you can't relate to their needs?

Indeed, Men are from Mars. I'm about half way through the book, so I guess I'll have to keep reading to find the answer to my question.

1 comment:

Ross said...

In the same vein, check out "Defending the Caveman", a one-man observational-humor show...