I really should practice yoga every day. I really should write more, blog more, participate more. In yoga, in social media, in pretty much every sector of my life (personally and professionally, and in all the places that overlaps), I've noticed that I should / could / ought to do more. When I think about it, I tell myself that consistency is the big challenge. And it's something people often write about in reference to branding, blogging, and pretty much everything else. So clearly this search for consistency is a human endeavor.
But I'm pretty weary of the word should. Should usually tells me something funny is going on. Should usually indicates some sort of judgment call, some sort of negative judgment.
When I say I should do this, be it practice yoga or write a blog post, what I'm really doing is judging myself for doing (or for the inclination to do) the opposite. When I say they / he / she should do this, even if it's probably a good idea (like wearing a helmet while riding a bike), I'm usually judging the fact that the person or group of people is doing the opposite.
Why is it that should seems to be the more reliable constant?
1 comment:
Just wanted to share some of the wisdom my pals on Facebook have posted on this:
Don't be so "should-y" to yourself. Time is in limited quantities.
Sandy... it shouldn’t be about doing more, but about doing better.
stop shoulding all over yourself ;-)
I ♥ being judgmental :) It's awesome and works for me!
The best practice I've found for dealing with "should" is to replace it with "would like to." Same with "can't" (replace with "won't"). "need" => "want"; "yes" => "no"; "no" => "noooooo"
bringing "should" into your vocabulary is setting an expectation for yourself the you already know you won't be meeting and then judging yourself for not meeting it. It's 100% designed by you! (crazy and at the same time brilliant)
And remember where you hold all those judgmental "shoulds"--
in your shoulders!
so just change all the "should haves" to "will dos" and you have a positive outlook...I will live each day to the fullest. :) and ps there is nothing wrong with being judgey*
stop shoulding on yourself!!!! :-)
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