You Attract More Flies with Honey?

There's this saying that keeps coming up: "you attract more flies with honey than with vinegar." The idea being that in order to get what you want, you should be sweet, polite, kind, etc.

But I have to ask, why are we trying to attract flies at all? Flies are a nuisance--for people and bees, the cultivators of honey. They get in your food, buzz around your head in that irritating way. What's the point?

If you saw a person with a bunch of flies swarming around him, you would likely be inclined to
a) provide the person with bug repellent;
b) tell the person to take a shower, and change his clothes; or
c) offer the person deodorant.

Point being: flies are not typically associated with good things. Flies are pests. Flies are indicators of poor hygiene or cleanliness. Most importantly, flies are just plain annoying.

You attract more bears with honey. You attract more bees with honey. You attract more people with honey. But flies? No thanks.

You Know What I Mean?

An interesting thought: We spend a lot of time seeking to be understood. But ending sentences or thoughts with "you know what I mean?" or "does that make sense?" undermines your confidence, undermines your appearance of confidence.

Why not just finish a thought and let it comfortably hang out there? I know I like to fill the space, because by talking--I hope anyway--everyone comes to meet on the same page. But
speaking with confidence doesn't end with a "you know," it ends with a period or even an exclamation mark.

You don't have to be overly cocky or arrogant on confrontational. But give it a try. Go one day without seeking affirmation for your every thought or statement. You don't need to give others free license to disagree with you or pick at your train of thought.

Have faith in yourself and in others--they'll let you know if they disagree or don't understand.

Wouldn't you? :-) Whadda ya think?

Be Your Own Best Friend

Yoga, generally speaking, is a great way to de-stress and detox, and remember self compassion. When you're forced to consider your breathing instead of how quickly you can check items off a list, you have an opportunity to relax, maybe bring a sense of purpose to your day. It's a very happiness through doing sort of philosophy.

But the other day, the yoga did little good. I was angry, frustrated and tired. I left the studio in the middle of class. I tried savasana in the hallway. When that didn't work, I tried to sleep a little. I was angrily calling myself names. I was running through every imperfection, every failing.

After class, I got to talking with my yoga instructor at Prana Power Yoga. I told her that I was beating myself and she asked me a question that really put the whole thing into perspective--would you speak to your best friend like that?

When you're in your head, arguing over the details, the what went wrongs, the shortcomings, it's really easy to be mean, to treat yourself with something less than compassion, treat yourself in a way you wouldn't dare treat another person. Why is it so hard to be kind to the person you spend the most time with?

Be your own best friend.

Blog Wordle

A colleague of mine at work introduced me to Wordle. Check it out--This one is created from this blog's content.


Cool, huh?

Where have all the birdies gone?

Fail whale jokes aside. Twitter needs to get its act together.

Somehow a buggy, little web application has become the favorite locale for Internet aficionados worldwide. At first it was cute--the fail whale carried off by the Twitter birdies, over capacity, bringing back that beat. But this irritatingly simple application as achieved a sort of market penetration that most companies would lie, cheat and steal for--Twitter has users that create applications to make it better, that evangelize and convert the nonbelievers.

Aside from an answer to the money question, Twitter has everything a budding social media enterprise could want: primarily, a loyal fan base. There are other options, albeit more complicated or less hip to the birdie branding, but Jaiku and Pownce are there, waiting for the opportunity to seize market share. So Twitter, please tell me why you're making it so easy?

Every time a Twitter fan's handle gets shut down (happened to me, @tibbon and others last weekend), every time a person's followers spontaneously disappear (reported two or three weeks ago), the Twitterati start to wonder how long it would take to rebuild their network of people elsewhere.

Don't you see Twitter? You're the platform of choice for the conversation, but we'll do what we please with the relationships.